Same wavelength

This is just a really conversation I had with my co-worker about another co-worker we both loathe....(the last sentences we both posted came almost simultaneously)

(to protect my co-workers identity her name has been changed)


shMorgan: she was talking "to herself" (aka to me but not to me) in the copy room about how she was taking the last ream of paper

me: I just assumed there was a third employee out here that actually gave a damn about her

shMorgan: and then she had to painstakingly determine outloud whether that ream was in fact plain and not hole punched

me: oh dont worry...she dutifully came out and told me about it

shMorgan: i said exactly 4 words the whole time she was in there

"it's on the outside" as she was ripping the paper

me: they dont label that shit on the outside

why would you think such a thing?

shMorgan: no obviously not

how silly of me

and i'll also not assume that you weren't telling me in a backhanded way that my ass should go and get some more mother fucking paper

sorry

me: i mean doesnt everything just come in a package that states just enough for you to know the base level of what it is?

like CORN or SHIRT

shMorgan: yes...that's how i like to buy food i like cans that say things like "tomato" and "beans"

but not what sort...the element of surprise gives it a little something extra

and that old-timey war ration feeling

me: look you stupid whore..not everyone lived through the great depression