Monday, July 30, 2007

The Wall

Why do Americans want to build a wall? Furthermore why do Americans not tell the truth about the reasoning behind the wall? They say that they are doing it for security and so terrorists can't come into our country.

Hey, let me let you in on a little secret.....terrorists are from the desert. Why would they choose to walk through another desert and cross dangerous ground to get into this country? Why wouldn't they simply fly there happy little asses over to Canada and drive across the border?

Hell they could probably drive through yelling Jihad and have a sign saying Death to Tyrants on their car. Border security in Canada is so relaxed that their police force is known around the world as being pussies who ride horses and say "hey" after everything. So lets look at the options facing a terrorist....walk across a heavily watched and guarded desert where the racist border patrol is or drive across the border where the border barely exists.

Now lets get back to this wall. The geniuses want to build this wall. The only flaw in their plan is that this wall won't go across the entire border.

This is where I smack my head.

What is the point of this? Do you think Spanish people are so stupid that 1) they won't find out that the wall doesn't cover the whole border and 2) they won't walk to the end of the wall and come in that way? Seriously, these are the same people that will pick fruits and vegetables in the hot ass sun for pennies. Do you really think a wall is going to keep them out?

I think what we should do as a country is reform the immigration process that from my understanding is so screwed up you can't even blame Bush for that one. No amnesty, no refuge, none of that bullshit. Reform the hell out of that policy and reward those willing to wait a few years by reducing the wait.

Right now I believe it takes 10 years to get your citizenship. 10 years!! What would you do if you had to wait 10 years to get a better life?

The "American" way says to go out there and get that life by any means necessary yet we criticize and persecute the immigrants that do the same thing.

Friday, July 20, 2007


I am in love with the idea of building a huge ass fence across 8 million miles of rough terrain just to keep people out of a country. I can't think of a better use of our time and resources.

So, a mexican is running toward the U.S. and as he's getting closer to the border and as he runs closer and closer to it, up comes this giant fence, seemingly out of the horizon itself and all hope fades from his face as he realizes that he has been defeated. The mighty fence has won again. And as he heads home, hands in his pockets, head down, all the while kicking rocks we will declare victory.

Then when the mighty fence has repelled them all we will build fences around our cities and Sacramento, CA will declare war against Atlanta, GA and they will send their cavalry. And when Atlanta realizes it is under attack it will draw up the drawbridge, set archers on top of their mighty wall and await the battle.

Then a magical dragon carrying huge boulders will fly in from the mighty mountains of Colorado and drop them on the Atlantians and the Sacramentoins will break down the door with a large tree that has been cut down and used as a battering ram and Sacramento will claim Atlanta as their own...and then magical fairies from la-la land will cast a spell on everyone so they sleep until the wicked stepsisters take cinderella to the magical island of misfit toys where they will eat poison apples and live happily ever after...yeah, thats it...

Friday, July 6, 2007

Si se Puede

So I was reading an article on the immigrant "problem" in the United States and I got to thinking. The un-official slogan for the immigrant movement is "Si se Puede" The only problem with this is that it is a Spanish slogan. I do not agree that the English language should be made the official language of the United States however, I do know and accept the fact that this is the most familiar and recognized language. So knowing this why would protesters scream and shout in Spanish or rather only in Spanish?

I am Guatemalan (and not one of those band wagoners who have roots in other countries and claim that country....Irish and Stephanie I am looking directly at you) I was born in another country and immigrated here. When I got here with my brother we both only spoke Spanish.

My mom instead of allowing us to continue speaking Spanish forced us to learn English. I know it is harder to get older people to learn English but if you can cross a river and a desert the very least you can do is try and learn, and I am not even saying this because I don't like people who only speak Spanish. I am saying this because if all these immigrants were to learn English they would be able to survive better.

So maybe instead of the slogan "Si se puede" it should be "teach us English, teach us English."