Thursday, May 8, 2008

Bat Shit Crazy

Some thoughts from day 2 and 3......
I knew when I started this that I was going to miss food. I love food.
However, I didn't realize how sneaky and tricky my mind is. I have been trying to keep myself separated so the side of me that started this experiment and the side of me that is actually starving are two different entities.

Well, little did I know that I am a sneaky bastard, the Starvin' Marvin Carlos keeps trying to trick the Mad Scientist Carlos into eating.
It will try to say,
"hey boss, it wouldn't be so bad if I ate a piece of chicken every now and then right?"
To which the mad scientist says
"well, I guess it wouldn't be too bad" Well all this is of course being played out in my head and next thing you know I have visions of me at the table in "Hook" when they imagine all the food. Except not only am I eating all the food but I have slit the lost boys throat and Tinkerbell is blowing me under the table as I make Peter Pan's mom and her friends have an orgy in front of me.
Yeah so not only do I have to deal with the physiological effects but now I am starting to have to punch my own self in the face for trying to trick myself into eating.

Also, I have added another reason as to why I am doing this.
Christian Bale prior to The Machinist went on a similar diet and went from 180 lbs to 120 lbs.
Christian Bale then became the most awesome Batman ever.
I am on a similar diet (see below) for no other reason than to see what happens.
I will then inevitably become a super hero equal to or greater than Batman. Also, I looked up just how many calories I have been eating the last few days and I came up with the grand total of just about 250.
I might have to rethink this, or I might just keep on like this.....who knows?

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Stupid Idea

Today I decided to go on a crash diet.

I weigh about 250 lbs but weight loss is not the primary goal for me.

Mostly I want to see if I can do it and how long I can eat just a half a cup of rice and an apple every day.

The other reason is because I am completely out of my mind and I want to experience first hand the psychological effects of starvation.
I have now gone about 18 hours without food and I am already starting to feel different. I have thought about quitting at least 4 times and I have tried rationalizing why I should eat something more than the rice and an apple a day.
If you have ever closed out a bar and walked outside into the daylight after hours of drinking you know how I feel right now. Everything is distorted and not in the right contrast.
My mind as it seems is protesting this choice I made. I wonder why?
My friends have accepted what I am doing although they all have their doubts as do I.
Now, on to the funny shit. I was talking to my brother today and we put over/under lines on the things that would happen to me as I tried this experiment.

trip to the emergency room------30 days

death----------------------------2 months

my mom yelling
at me for doing this--------------next time I call her

bowel movements ceasing-------7 days

BM resembling rabbit poop------4 days

me standing on top of the
stratosphere in a gorilla suit
furiously masturbating-----------N/A (Vegas doesn't put odds on certainties)