Thursday, July 17, 2008

Guess who pissed me off this week

Welcome to the whore club you stupid little whore.......

Hey, you know what would be a good idea?
Let's take pictures of me with my shirt up showing my flat stomach.....

Hey, you know what would be an even better idea?
Let's take a picture of me in a shower with a white wife beater esque shirt/skirt on...

Ladies and Gentleman, we have found a formidable contender for Britney's trailer park princess title. I hope this dumb little bitch goes up against the number one contender, Jamie Lynn "my mom probably told me to get pregnant for publicity" Spears one day. That would be the ultimate trailer park trash fight. Just think about it, you have one little whore who actually came from a trailer park going up against another little whore who despises what her father is and stands for and desperately wants to become what he only sings about. I mean really, and where the hell are these girls handlers? Oh what's that? They know that sex sells? They are the ones who "hacked" into her phone or computer or whatever? Seriously, these aren't the number one fans who love them and would die protecting them, but are still going to kill them one day working for them. These are grown ass people who probably resent the fact that they have to wipe these kids asses for a living. Why wouldn't they sell racy pictures to the paparazzi for thousands of dollars?

So congratulations you stupid Disney whore. I hope you end up getting nailed by a biker who plays Mickey behind the enchanted castle.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Down the Gullet

If you didn't read that story above let me summarize for you.

I guess when you turn 21 it is a "ritual" of downing 21 shots of alcohol.

Let me give you a little background on me at this point so you know where I am coming from

My biological father is the town drunk and still lives with his mother in a town in Guatemala.
All my uncles and 1st cousins are alcoholics.
I have been drinking LARGE amounts of alcohol since I was 14.
I am 6'2 weigh 235 lbs and I truly believe I am invincible.

All this being said, how fucking retarded do you have to be to think you can take 21 shots...SHOTS...not drinks where you slowly introduce alcohol into your body. These are slam them home, down the gullet shots of pure alcohol and I imagine these aren't buttery nipples or jolly rancher shots.

I can maybe do 21 drinks on a great night but I would never try to do 21 shots on purpose. And I imagine a veteran like myself could probably only do 7 shots max before I puked or called it a night in the back seat of my car.

I mean seriously the kid in the story died from this and I hope the person who bought him the last shot has killed himself at this point. This is why I don't go out drinking hardcore with anyone who I don't trust with my life. News flash stupid kids, you can't use the old "he said he was fine" excuse for shit like this. People are irrational when they are drunk, people don't know if they are fine or not. Oh and by the by these kids aren't losers who work at Best Buy and live with there Grandparents. These are college know that place where you pay ass loads of money for the chance to learn. Notice I said chance there because it is an option and most people (read the kids in this story) don't make the right choice and just cruise through.

Stupid white college students.


Ok, so it's been a while since I last posted so I know the one of you who probably ended up on this page on accident is wondering what happened with my crash diet deal.

Well, after a work week of being light headed and delusional (more delusional than I already am) I decided to call it off.

It was fun but I think the next time I do it I won't tell anyone, I will just do it.

Oh and right before I ate again I went out drinking and STILL out drank everyone I went out with. Either I can naturally consume large amounts of alcohol or my friends are pussies.

I vote for pussies.