A/S/L Wanna Chat?

I had this conversation with a friend of mine earlier and the whole time I was thinking. To show you bastards what goes on in my head I decided to record my thoughts.

*As before, the name of my friend has been changed to protect their identity*

me: How are you doing? God, here we go. Time to keep up appearances.

ShNiki: phew...phew? What do you really do? what aday. but i am good and yourself?

sounds like you are having a great time!

me: not bad I just wasted a ton of my time I really did...

and I actually need to get stuff done today I really do PAUSEnot

ShNiki: what did you waste your time doing?

me: walking around talking about shit that I am going to be doing anyway

I am a 26 year old man working with all 55+ women

who do you think is going to be moving all this shit?

ShNiki: mmm...so you are the burly lacky? burly? Did we go to sleep and wake up in the 40's?

me: yes, yes I am

What happened in your day?

Shniki: well there was a video/teleconfernce that i had to take care of because the representative from our company is in France pussies, and all the people that were in the meeting here were from other companies, so I was the face of the group and the contact person

me: wow that sounds like fun Take me now.

look at you putting those limited resources you were born with to good use. Oh shit, I better put something else here being the face of something

ShNiki: i know. Feel the jealous!

lol usually not a good thing! Look at me, look at me, please, compliment me.

I didn't.

me: so what else happened? *Dismissive wanking motion*

ShNiki: well it was a four hour meeting so i had to take care of the copies, video/teleconference logistics, the food, the going to the store to get more sodas the cleaning up along with all the other asinine things that people give me. Such as people who have been here longer than me and do the same job i do HOLY SHIT, you are still typing? not knowing what the difference between the bypass tray and tray 1

me: so basically you work with monkeys? This is what we in the "biz" call "throwing them a bone"

ShNiki: ya. with phd's

me: Wow Well. You slept with someone to get that job.

ShNiki: yep. be jealous of me

me: oh I am very jealous God, this is brutal. How can I get out of this? OOOH OOH, got it.

any plans for tonight or the weekend?

ShNiki: uhm? why?

Because I am writing a fucking report on what boring people do with their free time.

me: just asking

ShNiki: well, tonight not so much *shocked, friday, not so much *shocked, saturday i have a birthday party Yes yes, a "birthday party" read: not so much

and you? DAMMIT, I fell into that one. How do I avoid THIS...aannndddd ignore.

me: Whose birthday is it?

ShNiki: My friend Becca "friend". You used to play B-ball <--Who are you, the Fresh Prince?with her bro. Quincy, but we have talked about him before and you don't remember him I barely remember who you are, why should I remember that asshole?