Bow Down

We here in St. Boringville welcome and accept with open arms all lifestyles and and opinions. We also realize that opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and they regularly get fucked by us. Now usually I let all comments go but every once in awhile I see one that I can't let fall through the cracks.
Ok, so by every once in awhile I mean this one time but hey guess what?

fuck you, that's what.

Ok ... to answer your questions:

#1...What straight guy would wear these underwear?

A straight guy that has a girlfriend that finds those kinds of underwear cute and/or sexy and will usually tackle him in the hallway halfway between the livingroom and the bedroom and have her way with him ... a few times... because those boxers are really sexy in a cute kind of way ... and then you both crawl into the kitchen to have coffee before you have to go to work ... uh... sorry, memories... anyway ...

Oh you mean a straight guy that relies on fun and quirky read:gay items of clothing and cologne and hair products, etc. to lure women in instead of using their raw sexual power that all read:most men are born with? Yeah, I have had that tackling passionate hallway sex on numerous occasions and do you think I needed anything besides either a wrapped towel or normal clothes?

#2...Why are underwear models always absolutely ripped?

Well, honestly, do you HAVE to ask this question?? Do you want to see a fat fuck of a pig weighing in at 700 pounds wearing these? I mean, really ... do you want to see Shamu's human counterpart wearing these and strutting his stuff like he's god's gift to Cheesecake?? Think about it... only really sexy thin women are wearing lingerie or on the cover of Victoria's Secret... Do you really want to see some fat heffer on the cover with little angel wings and a thong????

So according to this there are only either absolutely chiseled from rock men or, and I quote(hence the quotation marks) "fat fuck of a pig weighing in at 700 pounds" men in the world? Just like there are only either really sexy thin women read:anorexics or "fat heffer" women?
Did I get that right?

#3...If you are a straight man and you answered yes to #1 go ahead and take those underwear off...

Ok... again ... some women think those underoos are hot... in a weird kind of way and he likes it when I tackle him in the... oh .. sorry ... anyway ... Don't hate on the ripped underwear model... You too can be on the cover of GQ in your underwear if you kept at the apple and one grain of rice diet ... will power my friend... it's all will power...

"some women think those underoos are hot" yeah, if these women were men they would be labeled pedophiles. Let me give you an example.
I love read:raging boner a women in boy shorts but if I ever saw a little boy wearing the same style boy shorts as the women in my life I would do one of two things.
1) run over and kick the kid in the face or
2) run over and do a double kick to the face of the kid and his father.

My point here being that the underwear in question are reasonably close enough to something a 5 year old would wear that if you were to replace the "FIRE" with Spider-Man nobody would see the difference. Not even the image of spider-man. Just put the name "Spider-Man" on the back in the same style lettering and everything.

Wait, did you just seriously picture that?

Well, you like little boys.

Also, don't question my will power, I have typed this entire post without ever once using a disparaging word to insult what I am praying is a woman who wrote this comment.

Thanks for your comment though, it is always appreciated. Shmucking shmitch

P.S. You might want to have your keyboard checked out, there seems to be something wrong with your ................................................................................ key.